I love this sentence. However, I don’t see how the section below elaborates on dysfunction. The section below talks more about how we make the mistake of putting someone on a pedestal. That statement usually means we overlook another person’s imperfections / struggles, but in this case I think it’s clear enough that we mistakenly idealise it in the package. However, I feel like idealising it as part of the larger package of attraction isn’t synonymous with attraction specifically to that dysfunction.

I recently meditated on this point with someone because I saw someone else’s struggle. I’m not entirely sure what the root of the struggle is because that person never opened up about it. But based on our interactions, I had a guess. Based on that assumption, I felt that I could relate (perhaps similar to the disowned parts). If it was what I thought it was, then it’s a struggle that I had overcome, and was therefore willing to wait for someone else to overcome. However, I recognized three things: 1) I ultimately don’t know what the root causes are; 2) even if correct, I might not be able to help, and 3) helping didn’t mean there was a relationship and was I willing to go through that?

In the end, my answer was no. But I cannot deny that attraction — being drawn to someone else’s perceived need / imperfection that could implictly give you importance. It can be a dangerously egotistical venture. Yet, in the right doses, and under the right circumstances, it’s called love, commitment, chemistry. :) Such is life.

Thinking about the intersection of social justice and tech, with a LGBTQ and POC lense.

Thinking about the intersection of social justice and tech, with a LGBTQ and POC lense.